Chael Nel Staff asked 9 years ago
I recently found out my husband has been having a relationship with another woman for over a year, and each time I confronted him about it he denied point blank. Once I found an sms on his phone, and he denied even knowing the person who sent it. He now swears its over but how do I trust him again?
Based on your question I am not sure if your husband confessed to having an affair or if he denied it. Complete disclosure is the first necessary step to address doubts, start healing and to rebuild trust. Surviving such infidelity starts by addressing the presenting emotions. Your partner needs to listen and give you the space to properly vent your anger and to express your pain, hurt and disappointment. This process may be difficult for partners as they may become defensive, shift blame or deny certain details. Dealing with emotions is a process and hard to put a specific time frame to it. Through this process it’s important for your partner to see your pain. Then he may be less likely to repeat this and you will be one step closer to trust him again. Many couples can recover from infidelity and couples counselling may be critical to address the underlying causes of infidelity. It is important to understand what dynamics contributed to the affair in the first place and to address these. This is an important part of regaining trust again